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Valentine’s Day is coming up, and even if you haven’t got a girl to buy something for it’s important that you know about the art of gift buying for women. Men who know how to buy gifts for women leave women feeling warm and fuzzy and looking forward to seeing the man again, soon. Men who don’t know how to buy women gifts leave women feeling annoyed, grumpy and sometimes feeling like they never want to see the man again.
Being great at buying gifts for women is about being thoughtful. It’s about being tuned in to who this woman is, not who you want her to be. It isn’t about spending huge amounts of money to win her attention and affection. You can’t go wrong with a thoughtful gift, but you certainly can go wrong by going overboard and spending too much money and making her feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed.

The challenge is that what one woman will find thoughtful the next woman might find downright silly. That’s right; your old stand bys with your ex probably won’t work with this next woman. The only way to be sure that your gift will be considered thoughtful is by being observant and doing your homework.

Before we take a look at some of the standard gifts men give to women and see where and how they can go right (or terribly wrong) let me give you two good rules of thumb to follow about buying women gifts: 1) Buying her something slightly more extravagant but along the same lines of an item she already owns and adores will go over better than something totally new, even if it’s very extravagant. It means you noticed and you care. 2) Unless your gal is a serious environmentalist, or she is thriftiness personified, the more beautifully wrapped and presented your gift the more kudos you’ll earn. Just as you like to unwrap a woman in lingerie, we like to unwrap beautiful gifts.

Practical Items

As a general rule of thumb practical items DO NOT make good gifts for women. I don’t care how much you think she needs a toaster oven (because you want to make Stouffer’s French bread pizza in it), or a new vacuum, don’t buy anything practical for her unless she specifically asks for it. If you do buy her the practical gift, make sure to also buy something romantic as well (even if it’s just a small token gift). Trust me; you’ll thank me if you do.


This is one of those areas where men can really get it wrong and the reverberations can be felt in the relationship for months, if not years. The problem is that men’s taste as to what would look good on their gal and her taste often differ greatly. What you often think looks really “hot” we think is either a garish color for us (like say red or purple), terribly uncomfortable, or makes us look like, well, a whore.

Rather than knock heads over this issue, be smart. Take a look through her drawers when she’s not around. Somewhere she’s got her special stash of lingerie hidden (though if you’re lucky she’s already worn some of it for you) and you need to find it. Buy her things along the lines of what she already has. If she likes pastels don’t buy her black, if she wears those boy cut low rider briefs don’t buy her thongs, and if she wears sweet little cotton things for heavens sake don’t buy her a red satin bustier – unless she told you in confidence she’s always wanted to have one. Also, check the labels. If the labels say made in Italy or France your gal is a lingerie connoisseur and she’s not going to be that thrilled with things from Victoria’s Secret. Sorry dude, that’s just the way it is. You’ll need to track down the nearest store that carries La Perla or Eberjey (check it out on the web, it’ll be fun, I promise).

Now, back to being smart. If your tastes in lingerie are very different I propose a compromise. Why not buy her what she likes for her birthday and say Christmas, and then something each of you like for Valentine’s Day? The trick is to start off buying her something she likes first, and then letting her know “oh so casually” that your idea of a dream come true is seeing her in a black lace body stocking. You can make a game of it with a roll of the dice, if she loses she has to wear the body stocking, or the garter belt or whatever you come up with´┐Żbut lingerie is expensive, so if you want her to wear something different than her taste you’ve got to be the one to buy it (at least in the beginning).


Flowers are one of those items that can either say “you’re the absolute best thing in my life” or “I waited till the last minute and this is all I could come up with”. I recommend you go for the former. Here again you need to pay attention. Women are pretty good at letting you know what kind of flowers they like, and if she doesn’t, go ahead and ask. These days there are florists everywhere so you’re bound to stroll by one on your way to brunch one day.

I recommend, if possible, that you establish a rapport with a local florist-someone young and hungry and creative is always best for my money. They’ll understand you have a budget and can come up with some fun, pretty and creative ideas. I don’t recommend running out to buy a dozen roses from one of those places that sell them cheap. Why? Well, the roses might look fantastic when they arrive but a deal is usually a deal for a reason. I once watched in horror as a dozen peach roses I bought for my mother-in-law went from being beautiful buds to full blown blooms to a pile of petals on her side table all in the course of one dinner. Instead of trying to be grand and overly romantic with roses choose flowers in her favorite colors, or flowers reminiscent of a hike you took together. Also, it’s possible that she doesn’t even like flowers! Make sure you check before spending your hard earned money, she might prefer a plant.


For heaven’s sake if your girl is on a diet, honor it! You don’t want to be seen as passive aggressive. That said, a thoughtful gift of candy can be very romantic. Here again you need to do your homework. If your girl is not only a chocoholic, but a bit of a chocolate snob, you need to track down that high cocoa content beautiful wrapped European chocolate that will dazzle her senses (note: Godiva is no longer produced in Europe and is not considered really “gourmet” by true chocolate connoisseurs). Finding unique items like this is just what the internet is for (and you thought it was for browsing porn – silly – for some women chocolate is porn).

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